urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:battery_hop-- El Jay --it's making a come-back!battery_hop2009-08-20T19:16:00Zurn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:battery_hop:1822getting things off my chest.. part 12009-08-20T19:16:00Z2009-08-20T19:16:00Zi don't really know where to start, but i just have so much on my mind so i decided to write it down.. i could have written it in a microsoft word document, but i just didn't.. i guess i just want people to know how i truly feel or something? <br />i think that i made a mistake.. well, actually, i know i did.. i'm glad that after everything that has happened i'm still happy, but i know what i want now.. Finally.. It's taken me forever to realize the mistake i made and that i probably can never fix it, but a girl can dream can't she.. i never realized how much i loved that man until my 20th birthday.. let me take you back a few months.. i knew i loved him and missed him and that i made a mistake the second i did what i did.. no doubt about that.. but at 12:01 am, just a minute after my birthday ended, i was in complete tears.. nothing ever felt like that before.. the man i loved for almost 4 years didn't even wish me a happy birthday and that felt like a knife had just been thrown through my heart.. i had a great day, but nothing could stop me from crying.. it was the only thing i wanted for my birthday, those two simple words from that one man.. and since then i've been a mess